It’s been a while. Since around about November to be less than exact. That was the last time I posted anything on this blog, and to my best of memories it was something about the current state of music. I even went as so far as to say that I was going to post a second part to the piece as it garnered a such healthy response. So much for that.
My actual response was to shut up shop. It wasn’t intentional. I just felt that I had nothing to say; nothing worthwhile to write. I found that I was beginning to irritate myself and the blog itself to be of little use. I was stuck in a trap where I thought each post had to be of some great value, to be a golden nugget of wisdom that the reader could take away and put in there pocket for later. Not that I thought I ever achieved that but it did end up being rather stifling. So, whilst I continued to write my book I hit the pause button on the blog.
I asked Naomi (my wife) about it a while back. Should I continue to write even though I felt I had nothing to say, or should I only post a piece when the notion to do so struck me? (Like right now). Her response was a little bit longer but it went something like this: ‘The more you write the more you will find you have something to say’. She should know, she blogs three times a week. So I took that advice back in December and done jack shit with it. I hung it out to dry (although I could still see the washing line from the window.)
The simple truth is that my heart wasn’t in it, and what’s the point if your heart ain’t in it? Why should I churn out something that I don’t enjoy? People can tell, right?
Well the answer starts with an admission.
I don’t like blogging. It isn’t me. It doesn’t feel comfortable. I’m not much of a sharer, so to hoist myself up onto a platform, albeit as small and precarious as this one and give a weekly account of my thoughts really grinds my gears. I don’t know why. Maybe its the Scottish genes in me telling me to ‘wind yer neck in!’
So why pick it back up?
Well, I’ve thought about that a lot since November and the answer is the very same reason why I stopped. Because I don’t like it. I’ve decided to keep going and hopefully I will grow more comfortable with feeling awkward. Playing it safe gets you nowhere.
I was listening to the Off Camera Podcast interview with The National frontman, Matt Berninger. One of his many quotes that are worth passing off as your own really struck home (allow me to paraphrase here).
“If you are not failing at two out of three things you are doing then you aren’t moving forward.”
So, with that in mind I’ve decided to “skate on thin ice”, as Matt says and continue with the blog. Some of you may think that “skating on thin ice” might be something of a hyperbole when comparing writing a blog to putting yourself out there. Well, all I can say is that you just don’t know how much this page goes against my nature.
On a side note, and I’m sure I’ve said it before on these pages. Please don’t hold my poor grammar, punctuation or spelling against me. If you feel you really have to correct me then please leave a comment. I read them all and appreciate every single one of them. Honestly I do. And I do think that those things are important to a wanna be author but just not for now, not for these pages. That time consuming effort is for later on and for my book.
To use another great quote, “Done is better than perfect.”
Thanks to Elizabeth Gilbert for that one.