… but I want a broken leg too.
First off thank you to everyone who commented last week on the launch of the blog. I apologise for not getting back in touch sooner but…. well… I’m pretty much useless when it comes to operating the blog. This, like writing is a learning process.
Just know this; when I start operating computer devices, small mushroom clouds appear on the horizon. I’ve come to accept it. I just hope you can too.
Around eighteen months ago a friend of mine broke his leg whilst playing 5 a-side football. It was a particularly nasty break. An opponent wiped out his standing leg. A few operations and a titanium rod for a shin bone later and he was on his way to making a full recovery.
But here’s the thing. When I went to visit him in hospital I felt two things:
#1. I felt pretty bad for him. He was obviously in a lot of pain. “Ouch” doesn’t cover it.
#2. Aaaand that horrible emotion jealousy. Yup, jealousy.
I wanted what he had. Three to four months off work in order to write my book. Even with the financial implications it would have for me and my wife.
The idea of putting my entire life on hold appealed enormously. I could get it all done, put the book to bed and have it over with in jig time.
How far behind the 8 ball is that for thinking? Not only did I want a broken leg, but I thought I could nail my book in that allotted time. It was completely naive thinking from a total rookie of a writer.
Even worse, I then backed out completely and and told myself to forget it all. Instead I’d back Naomi’s ambitions. (A shocking stroke of martyrdom if there ever was one. Basically I didn’t have the guts).
You see my wife is an entrepreneur. She is a whirlwind of creativity, enthusiasm and forward thinking. Undoubtedly you’ll get to know her as we go on.
I would do the “right” thing by putting food on the table whilst supporting my wife (and now child) so she could achieve everything she wanted to. I’d do what a man has to do and be a breadwinner. I’d work myself into the ground for my family.
What a selfless and courageous act!
What a guy!
What utter horse shit.
I was waiting for life to hand me an opportunity to start what I’ve always wanted to do. Like, since I was a kid.
What I didn’t know then that I do know now is that I was falling foul of a big bad thing called Resistance. (Note the use of a capital letter. It’s that much of a prick.)
Resistance is that nagging voice in your head that tells you to forget it. It tells you that whatever you are planning is going to fail.
It might even tell you that people will laugh at your new blog.
Resistance had told me that I would need a broken leg in order to write my book. So naturally I called the whole thing off for a year. I mean, who wants a broken leg? Pfft.
This definitely won’t be the last post concerning Resistance because I face it every single day.